I just finished rereading the WORST psychological thriller ever. It’s such an insult to FICTION itself that it ought to be taught in creative writing classes on what not to do when writing ANY story.
Yeah, that’s right! I’m talking about Gone Girl!
For those of you who don’t know about this mind-clobber of a book, Gone Girl is about a man named Nick Dunne dealing with his wife Amy’s disappearance on their 5th wedding anniversary. To make matters worse, Nick becomes the prime suspect in the case, and the pressure to figure out what really happened intensifies.
It sounds like a pretty good premise for an excellent book, right?
Well, not completely. What I mean is that, I thought that the premise and its bestseller status was going to guarantee an excellent story.
However, what Gone Girl reminded me is that, sometimes even the most interesting ideas can have the STUPIDEST executions.
How so, you may ask? Well, strap in, as I kick off a back-to-back three-part SPOILER rant series on why Gone Girl is WORSE than you think.
DISCLAIMER: If you haven’t read Gone Girl yet and don’t want the twists and turns completely ruined for you, consider this your last warning. I’m about to break down Part 1 of the book in all its infuriating, mind-boggling glory. If you’ve already read it—or, like me, survived it—strap in for a rant with GIFs. Lots of them.
Boy Loses Girl Plot
SO IT BEGINS
The plot of Part One of Gone Girl may be the best part of the story. I’m obviously using the word “best” very loosely, but track with me, all right?
Part One introduces an overarching narrative structure: an alternation between Nick in the present and Amy in the past, which I’m a huge fan of, another reason why this book really should have been good.
But nope. Gone Girl had to go and ruin that too.
We’ll get to that soon enough, won’t we?
Anyway, the plot kicks off with Amy disappearing. Police is called, and here our genius Nick Dunne is just too clobbin’ chill about this whole thing. Like, way too calm.
Dude, I get that you’re trying to be calm, and you’re naturally stoic, as you claim later in the book, but I am one of the chillest people I know, but if, God forbid, my future wife went missing, especially on our 5TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, (WHICH YOU WERE ALSO LATE IN GETTING A GIFT FOR YOUR WIFE, BY THE WAY! WTC is wrong with you?), the cops would have to tell ME to chill the eff out.
So, we’re off to a fantastic clobbing start. But would you believe me if I told you it gets worse?
Oh yes, it does.
NICK THE DUMBA**
After alerting the police (while telling them several lies) and Amy’s parents, Nick does a PR conference along with them a couple chapters later. And what does Nick do that makes zero sense?
He decides to CLOBBING SMILE. WHILE HIS WIFE IS STILL MISSING.
Excuse the clob out of me? Dude, your wife is gone, and you’re out here grinning like you just won the lottery? Yeah, nothing suspicious about that. And the media jumps all over it, rightfully so.
That’s right, there is more! Because that’s not the only thing about Nick that makes me not want to root for this guy in this part. It turns out several chapters later that…
HE HAS A MOTHEREFFING MISTRESS! NOT JUST ANY MISTRESS…his TWENTY-THREE-YEAR-OLD STUDENT named Andie!
Miss me, man! (Trust me, this will become very relevant later!)
Amy’s Diary
While Nick’s story is being told and royally ticking me off in the process, another story, the BEST PART OF THIS ENTIRE BOOK, is being told, and that is Amy’s diary.
Amy’s diary is basically a story of her life and her relationship with Nick, up to the day she disappeared. And guess what? Amy seems PERFECT. Too perfect. Like, suspiciously perfect. These entries are filled with the sentiment of “Oh, Nick was the love of my life, but then everything started falling apart when I got the feeling that he wasn’t the man I thought he was.”
Honestly, I almost felt sorry for Amy. She’s doing everything right, trying to be this cool, carefree wife. She’s thoughtful, she’s kind, she’s the type of wife who leaves cute little notes for her husband.
Meanwhile, Nick had been a complete clobbing idiot for the last several years, and judging by what I’ve read so far in Part 1, he had not learned the error of his ways.
But spoiler alert: even this isn’t what it seems.
That being said, this part of the story really did a good job building up the suspense and tension in the story!
The Treasure Hunt Clues: More Like a Creepy Scavenger Hunt
Speaking of suspense, we get to Amy’s anniversary treasure hunt. You know, the sweet little scavenger hunt she planned for Nick every year to celebrate their love? Except this time, with Amy missing, it feels more like a creepy game from beyond the grave.
Nick starts following the clues she left behind, but instead of this being a cute tradition, it feels ominous. The clues are just off—like Amy knew something bad was going to happen and is leading Nick somewhere.
And I LOVED IT! Not the situation obviously, but the whole set-up really convinced me that Gone Girl was going to be a master story, especially because the final scene of Part One led me to a deadly cliffhanger.
Final Thoughts on Part 1: An Infuriatingly Good Setup
Part 1 of Gone Girl sets up everything beautifully—and by “beautifully,” I mean it gets you good and riled up. Nick’s awful behavior, Amy’s too-perfect diary entries, and the mystery of what really happened… it’s all a slow burn to something bigger. I was frustrated beyond belief but completely hooked.
Little did I know that everything I thought I knew—including the quality of this novel—was about to be flipped upside down in Part 2. And let me tell you, when that reveal hits… I was not ready.
- “Key Writing Takeaways:
- Create complex, layered characters whose actions raise questions for the reader.
- Use unreliable narrators to add tension and uncertainty.
- Craft a setup that sows seeds for future twists—hint at the truth without revealing too much.”
Stay tuned for Part 2: Twists, Turns, and WTC Moments because that’s where the real madness (and MY FURY) begins. You won’t want to miss it!
Were you also banging your head against the wall by this point? Let me know in the comments if you were rooting for or against Nick by the end of Part 1!
Coming Up Next (THIS VERY DAY):
- Gone Girl Breakdown, Part 2: Twists, Turns, and WTF Moments
- Gone Girl Breakdown, Part 3: The Ending That Made Me Lose My Mind
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