Hello, everyone! Sorry for the late entry!
Welcome back to my October Johnson Reaction Series! When we last left off, Chase had spotted the intruder in the midst of the boys analyzing the handwriting on the note found in Mrs. Gridbes’ yard after the explosion.
Let’s get into it!
“An intruder? Where?” October asked.
Chase pointed toward the door. An intruder was near the door, his eyes leering. They were so focused on the note that they didn’t realize the author was standing in the room behind them, all along.
How on earth is this even possible?
“Get him!” October yelled.
Chase lunged at the intruder with a flying tackle, but the intruder dodged and ran out the door.
“Galloping gorillas! What was I thinking?” October smiled. “That’s okay, Chase…” “Good night! Look!” George exclaimed.
October gasped and they went to the window and gave a groan. The intruder was already outside!
“Oh, my cliffhangers!” October exclaimed. “I’m not going to let that intruder escape! Oh, I have an idea! I’ll follow that intruder!”
“I’ll go!” David, George, Chase, Aidan and I exclaimed in chorus.
This has to be the most ridiculous collective agreement I have ever written. It’s not enough that I once again DIDN’T HAVE A SINGLE PERSON OBJECT TO THIS INSANE REPETITIVE PLAN/PLOT DEVICE!
Nah…I just had to have every character agree with October in unison like they were harmonizing for a clobbing choir!
We got out of the hotel, running full-speed in pursuit of the intruder.
“He’s heading for Mrs. Gridbes’ house,” I reported.
Once again, HOW THE CLOB DO YOU KNOW THIS?!
And why was this not shown? THEY ARE LITERALLY CHASING THE INTRUDER IN THIS SCENE!
“Good grief!” October cried out. “The intruder’s going to make a rampage on her house!”
He drove toward Heath Street and gasped.
“Leapin’ lizards!” October exclaimed. “He’s already here!”
Again, WHY WASN’T THIS SHOWN?
“I hope he doesn’t get any ideas!” I declared hotly. “Mrs. Gridbes is as delicate as a rose.”
As we entered the house, October declared, “I don’t see him any…Aaaaaaaah!”
October fell into a hole; he got up and wiped the dust from his pants. “Gosh, I didn’t see that coming,” he said.
How is this possible? Where are they entering the house from? Why wasn’t October able to see this or be alerted about it?
The rest of us jumped in.
Why did October’s friends decide to just jump in a hole after what happened in Chapter 3?
“Golly, what a big hole!” I said.
“We’re so boneheaded to not realize there was one,” October groaned.
I am glad you acknowledged this PLOT HOLE, pun intended.
“That’s so strange,” I commented. “There wasn’t one when we came here first.”
“How can someone just put a hole in a house?” Chase asked.
“Pull a lever, maybe?” George suggested.
Interesting theory! I hope this chapter is the beginning of a thorough investigation into this new interesting plot development!
October rubbed the top floor. “This isn’t metal.”
“But who cares if it’s not metal?” George asked practically. “The floor could have been made out of a million things.”
“What’s more, it is possible to pull a lever,” October said, “but I feel like the intruder used something else.”
“How’s that?”
“A lever couldn’t be hidden somewhere,” October speculated, “it’s seen. Since we didn’t see the lever, he had to have used something else. Whatever he used is more than I can explain.”
Incorrect thinking, but whatever. Let’s see where this goes!
“Let’s get back up there and check,” Chase suggested.
The floor closed suddenly!
Well, this is different from Chapter 3! What a great spin on an earlier plot element!
“Oh, my crow!” October exclaimed. “This isn’t a hole! It’s a secret panel! He must have used a button to open and close it,” George realized.
Wow! I REALLY, REALLY hope we get an explanation for why this is possible!
“How astounding!” Chase exclaimed.
“And now we can’t get out!” David complained.
“Use your head,” George retorted. “There must be a way out of here!”
“You’re right, George,” agreed October. “Let’s walk straight.”
Walking straight for several minutes, they pressed our ears against the musty, dry walls of the underground.
October heard a sound coming from the distance. He walked further with us and the sound drew closer toward us. Suddenly we were at an intersection.
George asked, “Now where do we go?”
For the second time October pressed his ears against the wall. He had heard a sound before. Why could he not hear it now? Desperate for another sound, he pressed his ear against the wall a third time. There was still no sound.
Ok, some interesting conflict here.
“Now what am I going to do?” October asked himself. He frantically tried to think of a way to hear the sound, but all he could think of were thoughts of what would happen.
Uneasily October looked around the tunnel. The cramped space made him shiver, and the strange texture of the wall made him nervous. The more he looked around, the worse he felt.
Beautiful, younger me! Ok, I really love your attempt at creating an tense, suspenseful atmosphere!
Through all the nervousness October put his thinking cap back on. One thing was certain, he had to get us out of here. He wouldn’t be comfortable with the tunnel, but the determination that helped him relax would be all worth waiting for.
But looking around the tunnel made him feel…”Wait a minute. An idea!” October said in excitement. “Turn left!”
They turned left and a couple seconds later we heard voices from above.
“Aha!” October exclaimed. “So that’s what I heard!”
What is what October heard? What’s the context?
“Must be Mrs. Gridbes and the teachers,” George added.
“Leaping lizards!” I exclaimed. “Then we’ve got to make sure they’re okay!”
Suddenly, the teachers tumbled into the tunnel.
“Jiminy crickets!” I burst out. “What happened?”
“We got the wind knocked out of us,” Mrs. Gridbes said, out of breath.
“We were fine,” Mrs. Garls puffed, “until that man pushed the button.”
“Now, we’re pretty much trapped in here,” Mrs. Lail concluded.
They were relieved but worried. Now that Mrs. Gridbes was okay, they wanted to go back to the hotel. And they were trapped in here.
Once again, show, don’t tell!
“Now let’s get out of here,” October commanded.
“Wait,” a voice said. “The party isn’t over…”
“Okay, who are you?” October asked. “And do you know how to get us out of here?”
WHAT?!
“Figure it out,” the voice rang out.
“All right,” October agreed, but he didn’t trust the voice one bit.
WHAT?!
“Now what do we do?” Mrs. Nell asked.
“Don’t worry, October’s got this,” I reassured her.
“Hey, look!” October exclaimed. “There are green arrows on the wall!”
“Maybe they lead to the exit of the tunnel,” George declared.
They turned and reached a trap door.
“Oh my escape hatch!” October exclaimed.
Near the trap door was a ladder, and all of them climbed out.
“Good night,” October said and the six of them went off to the hotel.
Oh, you have got to be clobbing kidding me! REALLY, THAT WORKED? THAT IS HOW YOU CONCLUDED A MAJOR PLOT ELEMENT OF THIS STORY?
This could have been multiple chapters, CLOB, two or three minimum.
Y’all don’t want to investigate the fact that Mrs. Gridbes mysteriously has a clobbing secret panel in her house?!
Or check to see if the intruder’s around?!
*breathes in and out*. Keep calm, Godwin. The chapter’s not over yet.
All was quiet until the next morning.
“Good morning, everyone,” October said.
“G’morning,” they yawned.
When everyone was dressed up, October remarked that perhaps they should eat breakfast upstairs instead of downstairs so as not to let the intruder from last night sabotage the place.
“Room service.” George chuckled.
When eating breakfast, October declared, “Boys, I have a hunch!”
“About what, pray tell?” Chase asked, before taking a bite of his waffle.
“The same man who threatened us might have wrote the threat and barged into our room last night,” October deduced.
No crap, Sherlock!
“He might have? Gosh, you’re really serious about finding a mystery, aren’t you?” George commented.
You already found one.
“Yep, I am,” October said, “but, we need to prove my hunch.”
“One mysterious event after another,” Chase chimed in, “and it happened in the same place on the same day!”
“Right! But how do we prove…”
“To prove evidence, we need to find a footprint or something,” Aidan pointed out.
“That’s it!” October snapped his fingers. “A footprint!
YOU’VE GOT TO BE FU...
TO BE CONTINUED ON SATURDAY AT 8:00 AM!
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