Hello everyone!
Today I will be breaking down Chapter 8, and you will be getting the Chapter 9 and 10 reactions on Thursday!
You’ll understand why after reading this analysis/
There was so much I wanted to say about this chapter that I had to dedicate another chapter of this book.
This one chapter is too short and rushed, like most of the other previous chapters.
However, it somehow manages to be inconsistent and contrived on almost every level of what makes a story work.
Or supposed to work.
And by that, I mean the setting, the plot, and the characters.
How, you may ask?
Well, sit back as I tell you WHAT THE CLOB WENT WRONG WITH CHAPTER 8.
AN UNREALISTIC, REPETITIVE SETTING
Let’s first talk about the actual cave for a second. Younger me, my guy, of all the places to have a cave, you decide it’s the best idea to have it UNDERNEATH A SANDWICH SHOP IN A POPULAR RESIDENTIAL SHOPPING CENTER?!
It kind of stretches the belief of imagination that not one person in Lark Cowl has ever said anything about it, not even as a rumor.
Not even Jake Harling, one of October’s friends, who apparently is from the town of Lark Cowl, Texas!
That’s not the only questionable part of Jake’s character shown in this chapter, but I’ll get to that later.
What makes this even worse is that I already had an underground element in this book that itself should have been established and fleshed out even earlier, and that was the first half of chapter 6!
Making this premise even more filler from the get-go!
And at least with chapter 6, I tried to build up some atmosphere in the secret tunnel underneath Mrs. Gridbes’ house. The cave is barely described, and same goes for what these characters’ reactions to this new environment unlike chapter 6, where we at least get October’s internal reaction.
You couldn’t even give me that.
A REPETITIVE, CONTRIVED PLOT
This setting affects the quality of the plot, which itself is bad enough that it basically repeats a part of the first half of chapter 6, but in an underground cave.
Actually, no, I take that back. That’s an insult to that earlier part of the story because at least the events of that sequence isn’t as outrageous as what happens in this chapter.
First off, the characters fall into a cave. The fall isn’t described enough, including how much feet they dropped. And every character, including the teachers, who are WAY older than our teenage detectives, is PERFECTLY FINE.
Yeah, you heard that correctly. And what makes even worse is that I killed the stakes immediately within THE FIRST THREE LINES OF THE CHAPTER.
We’re off to a fantastic start, aren’t we!
Next, the ONLY NEW CLUE that we get from this chapter that is even remotely realistic is a book titled Techniques of Getting Away With Something.
Not only is this a convenient thing for the characters to just find quickly because pacing is a clobbing myth in this novel, but also much like the other clues, this clue isn’t given time to really be processed.
THE SECOND HALF OF THIS CHAPTER DESTROYED THE LOGIC OF THE ENTIRE CHAPTER AND OUR DETECTIVES’ CHARACTERS
But at long last, I’m finally getting to how all of the characters escape the cave.
First of all, just like the footprint at the end of chapter 6, the exit is found via a character telling us they found the exit rather than it being shown.
Before the chapter, which if you haven’t noticed, is too clobbing short, is even over.
And I just realized after reading this chapter, I NEVER ACTUALLY DESCRIBED THE EXIT THAT EITHER THE TEACHERS OR THE DETECTIVES THROUGH!
And yes, I said or! It should be AND, but I’m just going to get to that!
The only pathetic attempt at an “obstacle” is the carousel. How the clob did it get down there? I hope we get an explanation.
SPOILER ALERT: WE WON’T.
The teachers went through the undescribed exit, and October and his friends decided to GET ON THE CAROUSEL LIKE THEY’RE AT THE EFFING STATE FAIR OF TEXAS OR SOMETHING!
WHAT THE CLOB IS WRONG WITH THESE CHARACTERS?!
t starts out as a “fun” little escape mechanism, but who in their right mind would decide, “Hey, let’s hop on a carnival ride in the middle of an underground cave?” That’s not exciting. That’s nonsensical.
It’s like the scene was there to check off a “cool action scene” box without any real planning. “Ooh, a merry-go-round that floats! So quirky!” But then it gets violent. It starts spinning like crazy, and they have to deploy parachutes to avoid crashing to the ground. Are we seriously supposed to buy this?
Parachutes that weren’t previously mentioned in a cave? The merry-go-round is floating? How? Why? What?
I get it—I was trying to make something memorable, but it’s just too much. The stakes were real when they were stuck in the cave. The tension was there.
But then we shift gears into this goofy, nonsensical ride and it just loses all sense of danger or logic.
What was the point of the merry-go-round scene, honestly? Did you think the action would make up for the lack of meaningful tension? Did you think it would make the story more fun? Because it didn’t. You went from near-death peril to a literal floating carousel, and the only thing I got from it was a headache and questioning my life decisions.
And lastly, the teachers are completely disregarded even AFTER THEY DECIDE TO GET ON A DYNAM CAROUSEL INSTEAD OF MAKING SURE THEY’RE OK.
They don’t even make sure the teachers are ok or even mention the teachers as they make their exit, on the way to the car.
WHICH IS ALSO CONVIENTLY CLOSE ENOUGH TO WHERE THEY EXITED THE CAVE!
Miss me with this! IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!
Younger me, you are making your characters complete jackholes, especially Jake, who is a former student of these teachers, as you established in Chapter 4!
Even the clobbing original edition in 2015, did a better job of respecting these teachers’ roles and lives in the plot!
Even worse, your 4th grade teacher is who inspired you to create the Secret of the Old Factory in the first place!
How disappointingly disgraceful this chapter is!
CONCLUSION
Anyway, I hope you liked this analysis!
Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!
Like I said, Chapters 9 and 10 are coming hopefully Thursday!
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